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Hello peeps! :)
Tag before you leave yea!
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xoxo
♥ ♥ ♥

ALINA is the name.
GerGer, by fams and friends.
9teen.
3RD FEBRUARY.
Mixed blood chinese islam.
Pre-U2, SMSA.
PINK & BLACK, my addiction.
ROSES, my favourite.
DANCING, my PASSION.
PARTY, i love.

*When im stressed out,
i tend to crave for ---
SOFTDRINKS,
ICECREAMS and
CHOCOLATES.
That's just my bad habit.(Y)
basically all SWEET STUFF! ♥*

Mohammad Izzat Saifullah
My Lover
My One And Only
3010's Property ♥.

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» January 2008
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» December 2008
» January 2009
» April 2009
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» July 2009
» November 2009
» December 2009
» January 2010

all of the sudden i felt like blogging my heart out. actually i'm crying ever since Baz share with me this song called mama by spice girls. i've known that song for so long but it's like back again because of the mother's day.

i miss my mom. i miss her living in this house. i miss everything about her actually. every seconds i miss her. i would go and live with her but i don't wanna give her too much burden anymore. where she would have to waste her money on me when she's not even working. luckily she has my sister and brother to help her keep up with her life on her financial issues.

ever since she left this house, i felt that my life has changed. i dont hear the word "mummy" at home. i just miss everything in this house. but still sometimes i would call her up to know how is she doing and what is she doing. i would visit and see her from time to time.

but what makes me sad is that i cant see them together anymore. basically i dont see my mom everyday. i cant see my family as one. in a house. living with each other. i know its been 8 years ive lived like this but who could have stand seeing other families who have a perfect life together.

actually im jelous of other people. so jelous of them that their family is complete. when i go anywhere and i see a complete family going out together, i feel left out. like i.. uhh just speechless and would think that they're lucky. so lucky indeed. thoughts will just pop out. "i dont see my family like that anymore" "we dont go as a family anymore" "how i wish i could turn back time" "how i wish im like them"

i see my friends go out with their family to a dinner on mother's day. i really envy them. i really wish im them. i miss those times. and i want it back so bad. ='( the most saddest time is new year. Raya and CNY. most families go together but my family, no. no more. it just hurts. really hurts me. i always cried during new year. we're just not united as a family.

but whatever it is, i would just have to accept the fact that my life is like this. its fate and i cant do anything about it. but im happy for my mum. she's not hurt anymore and she's happy as a bee. and im happy for her too as long as she's not hurt. i lave youu mummy!



lastly, to him, im sorry. i didnt mean it about last night. i was mad and i said it without thinking. im sorry i made you cried. im so so sorry. i love you.

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